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 Cool Story.... my own part one (current project) [edited]

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Komeiji Satori
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PostSubject: Cool Story.... my own part one (current project) [edited]   Tue Jul 02, 2013 1:18 am

Prolog: Hello my name is Benjamin Tsumina and I am about 17 years old and Lately I have been in shitty scenarios and nothing has been going right and plus I have no friends ecause everyone back stabs me my parents tell me to get a job and do something with my life but I dont know witch way is up and this hurts my heart and mads me angry and sad at the same time but today my life will change forever but you will read that later but yesterday my only friend turned on me and we got into a huge fight and when this happened we was in school so we did a more civilized way to take out our problims which is by playing a common game called Yu-Gi-Oh and its a card game that takes skill and I like playing with fairy decks and my friend loved dragunity and we had a fierce battle but there it was we each had 100 lp left and I have nothing in hand and he has stardust radiance dragon red dragon archfiend and scrap dragon with mirror force face down and a dragun ravine and I have heavy storm and monster reborn in hand I draw and get BlS envoy of the begining and I have 3 necro gardna's and 3 effect veilers in grave so I summon BLS and use monster reborn to bring back his shooting star dragon from grave and used bls effect to banish radiance and yet he was def but and shooting was in attack so I use heavy storm to take out his facedown and attacked scrap dragon for game and ended the duel but he quit walked away and said "Fuck you" and so I went home and my parents yelled at me and made me madder than hell and all they do is yell so in turn I was angry at everyone and everything and I took and hid in my room  but then weird things began to happen and something told me to sleep on it and plus I was tired. It was like 5 pm and so I went to sleep and found my self teleported to a new world and I woke up but I was not in my room I was in a green medow next to a sparkling lake and trees with sun shining and I i see a faint figger in frunt of me and my vision got clear from rubbing them and then i saw a girl about 17 years old wearing a blue sleveless shirt and had white sleve type things that started at the upper forearm and wore a mid sized blue skirt with shining blue shoes and white knee socks and she was white but had a white ribbon around her waste. she had glittering sky blue eyes and she looked at me and said in a friendly  greeting voice "Hello. are you okay?, cause you fell out of the sky as if was teleported here, heehee"I replied "Hello and ugg.... I feel alot of pain and...." I look around and ask with great curipsity "Ummmm... where am I and how did I get her" she giggled and I got scared she said "Your in a world called the Dream World and you can only acess this world threw sleeping but it is more complicated than that... I will explain more later ....and by the way my name is Seiru what is yours... umm wait ur not from here so you dont have a name" I went and got sad but then said "how do I get one?" she told me it was easy just let the gods deside and you will know cause they will hold a festival in your honnor, I replied "I will do my best to be viewed as a good hearted person. Seiru told me to follow her and I had something tell me "This marks the new begining"


what do ya think of the edit


Last edited by Dream_Soul ⑨ on Tue Jul 02, 2013 2:11 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : took some advice from eneskristo on wrighting storys)
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PostSubject: Re: Cool Story.... my own part one (current project) [edited]   Tue Jul 02, 2013 4:59 am

Quite cool, but for a real book, you have to strech that far in about 3 chapters. First try presenting yourself, then a backstory on how you got till there, but I think in looks nice.
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